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How Big is Too Big? Your Bridal Party - Think About It!

silver diamond bridal ear rings

As a Wedding Planner when I first meet my clients, I ask them a ton of questions. I really want to understand their vision for the big day. When they tell me how many Bridesmaids and Groomsmen they will have it tells me a lot. I will focus here on the couples that tell me that they have 16 or more in their bridal party.

Right off the bat, I know that the couple have a lot of friends or a huge family. It also tells me that they probably unwilling to tell any one of their friends that they are not in the bridal party for fear of not coming off as nice.

In my many years as a wedding planner I can say that no one thing brings about wedding drama quite as much as a large wedding party. I hate to say but it is simply true. Think about it. How hard is it to get over a dozen people to agree and be happy with the same thing? It is definitely not easy but there are ways to do it with unfriending any of these people on Facebook or blocking them on Instagram at the end.

Here are some tips:

  • If you simply must have a large bridal party. Choose wisely. If Sally is great at a party but is always the last to arrive, she will likely arrive late to the ceremony.
  • Give guidelines but don't be so strict. If all the guys need to wear black tuxes, let them pick their favorite or use one that they have already. For the ladies, pick a color and a fabric and let them pick from different styles. When everyone wears what fits them best, they always look better.
  • Be clear on what is expected from your bridal party. From any expense to responsibilities, be clear.
  • When you ask someone to be part of your bridal party, let them know that if they can't commit to do it maybe they can do a reading or a toast instead. Let them know that above all else you want them to be a special part of your day.
  • If you are involving so many people, do not rule with an iron fist. Getting married is not a license to be a tyrant. I actually had a bride once have all the bridesmaids sign a contract stating that if they gained more than 10 pounds they were out and would still need to pay for the bridesmaids dress and give it to their replacement. I swear, this happened.

Remember the planning process and your wedding should be stress free and fun. Do not create situations for yourself that will derail your joy. Oh, and if you do decide to go with a big bridal party, getting them to get individually introduced before you and your new spouse at the reception is a bad idea. It is especially bad when you want to give each of them their own song. More to come on this on my next Kreative Drive Blog Read.

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